Love letters to the dead

I lost my best friend this year.

I lost someone I loved.

I lost my rock.

I miss them every night.

I wonder if they miss me?

Did losing me break you too?

Do your sunsets taste different without me?

Do you remember when I told you I had loved you for so long?

I can still feel you kissing my hair like it was yesterday.

You can’t walk into my life, become my everything and then leave.

Only, to be strangers who know each other’s secrets.

Who know the what, how and why of each other’s existence.

All I’ve got is -

hundreds of songs I can no longer listen to because we have too many memories attached to them

a sweater that used to smell of you which I refuse to wash

some ratty novels I can’t bring myself to open

You are all over my room.

You live in my head.

I still hear you in my sleep.

Are you reading this?

Can you hear my yearning?

Do you smell the tears?